How to Embrace Being “Selfish”

Education

February 11, 2025

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How to Embrace Being “Selfish” and Show Up Fully as Yourself

In a world that often praises selflessness, putting yourself first can feel radical—even uncomfortable. But what if reclaiming the word selfish is the key to living a more fulfilled, authentic life? That’s exactly what we explored in this week’s podcast episode with Colleen, an embodied messaging coach and founder of Selfishly Expressed.

We had a deep, insightful conversation about self-love, self-expression, and why being selfish might just be the most selfless thing you can do.

Listen to the episode here:
Listen on Spotify
Listen on Apple Podcasts

Redefining “Selfish” – From Negative to Necessary

From a young age, many of us are taught that being selfish is wrong. Sharing is praised, while setting boundaries is questioned. Colleen grew up feeling pressure to be the “good girl,” someone who put others first, sacrificed for the greater good, and suppressed her personal needs.

But through her personal and entrepreneurial journey, she realized that prioritizing herself wasn’t harmful—it was freeing. Instead of viewing selfishness as a flaw, she reframed it as a commitment to honoring her desires, identity, and autonomy.

So, what if being selfish didn’t mean being self-absorbed, but instead meant being self-honoring?

“Being selfish is actually being selfless. You’re honoring your own desires—desires that people told you were wrong before.” – Colleen

How to Start Prioritizing Yourself Without Guilt

Stepping into self-love and self-expression isn’t always easy—especially when people in your life are used to you not taking up space. Colleen shared how she experienced pushback when she started asserting herself. People told her, “You’ve changed,” to which she responded:

“We’re supposed to. Why would I want to stay the same forever?”

If you are just beginning this journey, here are a few ways to start reclaiming your voice and space:

  • Identify where you’ve been holding back. Do you struggle to say no? Do you go along with things just to keep the peace? Start noticing these patterns.
  • Experiment with self-expression. Whether it’s through journaling, social media, or even just speaking up in small ways, practice sharing your thoughts. Colleen swears by Threads as a low-pressure way to get used to putting your voice out there.
  • Get comfortable in the mirror. If you struggle with self-acceptance, try looking at yourself—not with criticism, but with curiosity and appreciation.
  • Push yourself to try something new. Colleen found her confidence through chair dancing and sensual movement, a practice that helped her reconnect with her body in a new way.
  • Set boundaries and protect your space. Not everyone will understand or support your self-expression, and that’s okay. Not everyone deserves access to you. Blocking, muting, and unfollowing are forms of self-respect.

From Online to Real Life: Integrating Self-Love Into Every Space

One of the biggest takeaways from this conversation was the importance of translating self-love from the digital world into real life. It’s one thing to post about your self-growth journey—it’s another to actually live it out loud in your relationships, work, and daily interactions.

Colleen’s challenge to all of us is to start small. Speak up when something feels off. Say no when you mean no. Take up space.

“Your self-expression is your power. The more you embrace it, the more you inspire others to do the same.”

Listen to the full episode here:
Listen on Spotify
Listen on Apple Podcasts

Connect with Colleen

If you enjoyed this conversation, you can find more from Colleen here:

And if this conversation resonated with you, make sure to subscribe to the podcast for more deep discussions on self-growth, business, and showing up unapologetically as yourself.

What’s one way you are embracing your “selfish” era? Let’s talk about it.